Sometimes I just "think myself into a hole" as Rudy would say. I take things I know are true and I think about them way too much until I can't separate verite from faux.
Luckily, I have a guy who will take me to In-N-Out after I've been throwing up and sleeping all day. A guy who tells me it's ok that I'm insane. A guy who is sure and who knows and yet has been patient with me from the very start. A guy who tells me he will wait for me.
I don't know that I'll ever stop being insane, but someday I'll stop being scared.