I've stopped looking at the countdown.

Is that odd? I've got too much to do. I'm really just one half-arsed whim away from saying "To Hell!" with my Family History project and taking a C in the class. I'm almost there.

Also, it may be because things are actually happening now. I'm going through the temple on Tuesday. I've got my flowers figured out and almost ordered, I'm almost done with school, I'm making money, etc. Things are happening so the countdown is irrelevant? I don't know. But 16 days isn't very far away.

This Semester will NEVER end

 I had such a lovely Thanksgiving with my dear Rudy and her family. After dinner and naps, Matt and I rallied everyone around the TV and we finished off the night with the very stressful zombie show The Walking Dead. Now that Thanksgiving break is over and I finished 2 papers and a book, I'm back to doing homework. I have to rework one of my horrible research papers about comprehensive sex ed, that honestly, I just don't care about anymore. Teach them all abstinence! See if I care! Just don't make me write anymore! (And really, I'm super against abstinence-only education, I'm just sick of all this work) And after I edit that paper (which I should be writing right now) I need to write a 8 page research paper on Butch Cassidy, and then a 10 page portfolio of all my family history research from this semester which will include 10 more hours of research. Kill me. I know I only have 3 more weeks of school, but honestly, this will never end. And I still haven't sold my contract (if I don't, we'll have to take out a loan to pay rent for a place in which neither of us live), and once I'm married and moved into my new place we'll have to start an even busier semester with no money. I don't know how we'll do it. Semester, please go to hell.

A Hot Bath and a Gallon of Water

Today ended better. I'm sorry for the whiney, spoiled post. Things didn't get better, and I definitely had a few more crashes and tripups and breakdowns. BUT I got grilled pizza and my extremely stupid genealogy assignment done, and before I crawl into bed to rest before I have to be at work at 6a tomorrow morning, I took a really hot bath and then drank from my wonderful bedside gallon of water; ending it off with a really superb run-on sentence.

I'm grateful that I have a wonderful roommate with whom to go get pizza and a wonderful fiance who will volunteer for an Eagle Scout project and bring me back more wonderful grilled pizza.

I wish I could write a happy post...

Let me think, what good thing has happened to me lately? uhm, I got charged a $90 deposit for our B&B in Rome The Vatican. Good that we have the place, bad that that money is gone.

Matthew is a gem. I'm thankful for him. He doesn't run screaming when I come home from school crying every day. He just tells me it will be alright and hugs me.

It's getting progressively harder to stay in my classes. I HATE them. Every single one. I can barely force myself to sit through them. And they require so much of me -not just going to class. I have a never ending- Honestly NEVER ENDING- pile of projects and papers and research and reading to finish. I HATE IT. I want to quit. I want to cry to my teachers and tell them I can't do it all.

In 4 weeks I get to go to the Temple. In 4 weeks I will be done with everything but finals and the wedding. 4 weeks. 4 weeks.


I can do it... (?)

Wouldn't it be awful if your last name was Whitehead?

It's a real name. gross.

Speaking of gross, why is everything at the mall so gross? People cannot honestly buy/wear 80% of what they're selling. No more mall for me. I'm sticking with JCrew (sales of course).

I had my first midterm today. Poly Sci. I think it went alright.

I guess this is a wrap up post.

10 days ago Matt and I drove to San Bernadino for our marriage license. We spent the night in St George with two London-y married people Josh and Misty Everett. Lovely to see them, but in the morning at 245a Matt and I were on the road to CA. We were in California for a total of 1.25 hours before we were back on the road. Matt drove 15 hours that day (he wouldn't let me drive his car :p).

It's kind of autumny. The leaves are changing colors. I love autumn so freaking much. No other season is even .05% as good as fall. I could live all year long in perpetual fall. I really really could.

I've had very little work lately so not a lot of money which equals not a lot of food. But today I spent $12 and bought things to make a really delicious dinner:

Sage-Rosemary Chicken stuffed with...

Apple, Cranberry, Hazelnut stuffing. (bread courtesy of old cheesy biscuits) This is honestly the best stuffing. I had too much for the chicken, so while that is cooking I'm just munching on the stuffing. Love love love!


I hate school this semester. But I am determined to do just as well, because being engaged is not an excuse. And right now I'm blogging instead of studying. Boo.

12 September

10 September 2009 I decided that I couldn't handle going back to BYU, that I needed to return to London and finish Le Cordon Bleu.

When I was leaving my Intro to Folklore class later that day, some boy walked up to me (and hit me on the arm) and said, "You going to India Fest?" I replied "Maybe, if I don't have to work." He said, "Want to go with me?" Again, "If I don't have to work."

10 minutes later (still talking and me getting annoyed that he hadn't introduced himself yet) I said, "I'm Lana, by the way."

"Oh, I'm Matthew Cole. Nice to meet you."


It was not love.

12 September 2009 we went to India Fest together. 

Thus began the awkward three months of, are we dating? hm, I'm not really interested? Why are we holding hands? Why are we kissing? What's going on? We can't be friends anymore, I'm not going to keep taking you out for nothing. You're my best friend. We're a couple now.

12 September 2010, we're engaged and happy and trying to figure out how to get everything done for the wedding while going to school.


12 September 2010, it's definitely love.

Blog Fame

My blog is not famous. Probably only a handful of people actually read it regularly, and a few others have possibly stumbled upon it.

However, there is something so fun about being recognized from your blog, well sort of. Let me explain.

I was talking to this girl I know from a class I had last winter. I mentioned something about the high price of books. See Here. And she said, Oh I know! I feel like I was just talking to someone about this... Oh YEAH, on your blog.

Fun. <3

Today I ran into my favorite former french teacher who's been in Paris nannying FOREVER. After a brief how are you exchange she said, I saw your fiance in the hall yesterday. I didn't want to say hi because then I would have had to admit that I recognized him from your blog.

Oh Matt, you're becoming famous too.

Even if only a few of you read this, and probably the two of you unnamed but referenced here, I like it when I know that people read my blog -even if it can be boring. Let's face it, the goings on of a 21-year-old Mormon university student is not that grand. But keep reading! I love it!

(Also, I probably read your blog too.)

love school hate books

not all books. just text books. i love learning, but books cost so much money! byu has a new thing where you can rent your books, but here's the deal. you know which classes you want to take, but you usually end up dropping or changing at least one, or the 'required' books aren't all actually required, so you wait. you wait for the first class to see which books you absolutely must buy. then you check the syllabus and reading is due almost immediately. so you can opt to rent or buy from amazon, but you have to wait several days to receive them so you fall behind. or you can spend ridiculous amounts of money at the bookstore but stay ahead. i opted to wait. i'll catch up. but i can never justify spending $400 on books I will toss at the end of the semester. even with renting and amazon there are ALWAYS books that must be purchased new from the byu bookstore, and they will always cost you an arm and a leg.

Halfway There!

Today I added another chunk to my tuition fund. And after only one month of saving I have managed somehow to put away half of the money I need for Fall Tuition -which has increased by $100, again.

Two more months like this and I'll be set for tuition and extras!

What will I spend it on? Books? Rent? Housing? Clothes? Something maybe bigger that will only (hopefully) happen once in my life? ;) 

You know you're a Geography Major when...

Someone erroneously calls the Baltic states the Balkan states, and you recognize it. Thank you How I Met Your Mother.

must... stay... awake...

need to finish econ... kill me... all the work... so little recognition... i'll probably fail this class... too bad it's a requirement for my major... curse my love of social sciences...

Goodmorning Blog

I've been awake for 2 hours now... I've done no homework. I have, however, updated my blog sufficiently... Time well wasted I think.

Waldon, Cookies, Cream & Poulet

This past week was my first week observing at a local school in Provo. I went to Walden Charter School. I loved it there. It was a bit 'liberal' and some have considered it 'unruly' and 'wild.' I, however, loved it.

I felt that while the students may have traditionally less respect for authority, they seemed to have more respect for people. They treated me as a person from whom they could learn. They were interested in what I could teach them.

I got three opportunities to teach this week. I co-taught two periods of Financial Literacy for 11th and 12th graders on the basics of banking. I really enjoyed it and the students seemed to like it as well. Today I taught a cooking class. We made homemade oreos (my sister's recipe) and we reviewed convection, conduction, and radiation. I LOVED IT! Can we talk about the MOST PERFECT JOB EVER?! Teaching and Cooking. My loves combined. If only that also involved travelling somehow... It was amazing. I loved it.


In other news, I made this really great chicken for my roommates when they came home from Christmas break. It's called Poulet aux quarante gousses d'ail. (Chicken with forty garlic cloves.) It was delicious. We all watched a movie and feasted. I also made raspberry scones with clotted cream and fresh raspberries for breakfast. Uhm, tasty. Luckily Matt came home early so he could enjoy some as well.

all the garlic skins...

Have I ever mentioned that I love cooking? Well, I do.

Why can't I get a loan?

Why is it so hard to get a loan?

I can't qualify for a Private Student Loan because I make less than $12,000 a year, and my mom has bad credit so she can't cosign.

I spent an hour on the phone trying to get a personal loan through Wells Fargo, and when I was finished I was declined, and of course the "personal banker" was not at liberty to tell me why.

I never qualify for Federal Aid because my mom's husband makes too much money, but guess what? I never see a penny of that money, so I'm NOT receiving income from my EFC.

My only option is for a Stafford Loan, but that means I have to spend hours filling out the FAFSA and that money can only be used for BYU.

I was given an opportunity to go to India with the Walden Charter School. I would have received practicum credit and a good rapport with that school in case I wanted to apply for a job there someday when I graduate, not to mention good life experience.

Now I don't know what I can do, and I have a headache, and I'm not going to India. And, I'm penniless, so I have to get a loan somehow. I may have to not go to school this summer and try to make a lot of money just working non-stop to pay for school, because my school money is absolutely gone.

Living for next Wednesday

I feel stretched to my absolute limit for homework. I've had so much required of me this semester that I'm very ready to just quit. I don't sleep well, I'm always preoccupied with some other assignment or test or project or presentation or paper. Let me tell you about papers. I've written nearly 20 of them this semester. I'm so sick of writing papers. Right now I am working on a Geography research paper -talk about boring. Then I have another small assignment for Anthropology due on Friday, and a HUGE Anthropology paper due on Monday (Previously Friday, so I'm nearly done, but it will still require a lot of effort from me.) Stressed out. Completely pushed and pulled and stretched to my mental and physical capacity. I need Thanksgiving break like I've never needed anything else before in my life. Tennessee you will be a long awaited and well deserved reprieve.

Dear History Paper,

Why are you so mean and difficult? You sucked away so many hours of my life! Hours I can never get back. But this is the last time. I'm done with you. We're through! You're finished. I'm over you. I can move on now to bigger papers. Papers that... who am I kidding, papers that I hate just as much as you! I don't want to think about you ever again.

Sincerely,

Lana

Stress bender

I told Paige that my next post was going to be about the wonderful day I had yesterday. I will post about that at a later date. Right now I'm just STRESSING out. University is very difficult. I feel stretched to my limit, plus I work, not a lot, but I'm still working and it severely cuts up my homework time. Stress, stress, stress. Thats all I feel. And I feel it from every corner. What am I stressed about right now? Well let's see. Tomorrow I present in my European Geography class, not a big deal but I need to wake up early and make 4 dozen Fattigman (Norwegian cookies). Then I need to work on my History paper that I haven't read all the books for, then at 4 I need to go to a test review for my European Geography class. At 6 I work until after 10. Then I get to sleep, lucky me, for in the morning at 7.30 I have to take a General Social Sciences Test for licensure in my program. And I have to take it tomorrow or it will cost me $130. Also it's Paige's birthday on Saturday, and I want to be able to spend time with her, but guess what I have to finish my History paper. (Same one, books still not read...) And then I work again Saturday night. Plus I'll have to read another History book, Anthropology book, study for my European Geography test, oh yes and do a research paper and an anthropology paper! And I have to make more desserts for my class for next wednesday. Plus other odd stupid assignments. When am I supposed to have time to even attend class?! Stress stress stress

To French Speakers! (or those who aren't impervious to humour, like Paige Neuenschwander)

From my former French teacher Mademoiselle Irene Kim's blog:

Remember in the MTC when literally translating expressions like, “I’m pickin’ up what you’re throwing down” (for those of you who speak french, we’d say, “Je ramasse ce que vous jetez par terre.” ha ha ha) was really funny? well to me, those things still are funny, and now it works the other way around, French to English. And to add to it, I’m like a child when it comes to hearing swear words in French, and it just makes me giggle. I can get into a spectator mode when I am surrounded by Second Language and it’s like i’m watching it on tv. It’s just not that real. So the extra step of literally translating those things just adds to the entertainment.

I won’t burden you with the actual French, but I will tone it down and give you the translation. So let’s say you’re late and running to the train, but it whizzes by as you reach the platform. Two seconds too late. One might say in English, “Agh! That sucks!” Here, the translation would be, “Agh! That makes me crap!” or, if you’re really mad adding a “Hooker!” in the mix always adds some spunk. So it would be, “Agh! Hooker! That makes me crap!” Think about that sentence for a second.. it’s pretty good. Anyway, the “That makes me crap” phrase is pretty versatile because you can actually use it with people as well. For example, if someone were bothering you, you might say, “I can’t handle her,” or, “She’s killing me,” or “She’s so annoying.” Here, they can simply say, “She makes me crap.” Not bad, eh?

Expressions of surprise are all pretty good too. Let’s say you just found out your friend has to pay a $500 speeding ticket. You could say any of the following to show you’re shocked: “Hooker!” (Once again this comes up… believe me, I’m not exaggerating about the omnipresence of this word. It’s everywhere.) “Mashed potatoes!”, “Thumbtack!”, or “The cow!” Don’t believe what you hear, no one actually says, “Sacré bleu!”

I could go on about how screaming “YOUR FACE” means “Shut the F up” and how there are about 8 different words for face, each with a slightly differing degree of politeness, but it’s almost 2 AM and i’m going to choose bed. Thank you for reading, and try to incorporate, “Thumbtack!” the next time you’re surprised… it’s not a natural reaction.

C'est amusant, n'est-ce pas? Tres drole.

Ode to an Essay

O Essay, you are so complex, your perfect form so elusive.

Completing you successfully is a task few can achieve with any level of greatness.

You come in so many forms, you come to me through so many facets.

The quintessential assessment of my knowledge,

The ideal example of my ability to BS.

You have been with me for so many years.

I am never rid of you.

I am continually asked to perfect my relation with you.

Yesterday you did not haunt my dreams.

Today you are an alarming reality.

Your six pages of analysis, your voluptuous weight,

Your fragile nature, so easily judged,

So readily dismissed as insufficient,

As sub par.

O Essay how could I have neglected you?

How could I have forgotten your need of my presence,

Of my hand in your shaping?

Your need to fill the minimum length requirement

Chases my idle fingers into action.

How could I have procrastinated your emergence?

Why did I neglect you until now?

Le Cordon Bleu

I'm ready to go back.