I'm what you might call a Jack-of-all-Trades. I can do almost anything I set my mind to, but just barely adequately. I can knit, crochet, sew, sing, dance(ballet), play piano, cello, guitar, ride horses, play tennis, cook, write, paint, draw, etc. But I'm mediocre in all these areas. I used to fancy myself a good student. Straight A's. Even in advanced classes. I got into a fairly good school on grades alone. And here I am, a mediocre university student. My mom tells me I'm smart, and I know that comparatively, I am, but I am so tired of being mediocre. I do not excel in anything. I used to use my excellence in school as a comfort for my mediocrity in all other areas. Now I can't even have that. And I know that I don't try as hard as I possibly could, but I never had to before and I'm not used to it. And in keeping with tradition I do moderately well, I don't exert myself and I get pretty good grades. They aren't usually up to my standards but I have learned to deal with that. This semester I am taking a history class. I absolutely love it. I never miss a day. I read the assigned material and take notes, which is a big step since I never take notes in class. Today was the midterm. I studied. I went to the review session. I studied more. I never study! Ever! And I studied. I learned the material. I know it. I can talk for hours about all the things that I have learned. I was very, very prepared. The test was easy. I knew almost all the answers. There was only one question that I didn't know. There were only four that I was unsure of. I never feel so confident in tests. I finished the 100 question test in 40 minutes and I was almost skipping out of the testing center. Then I saw the Scoring Board. 86% Somehow I missed 14 questions! How did this happen?! I was much too prepared for this test. I was much too confident in my performance for this to be true. I did that well on my french test which was much more difficult. How could I do so poorly?
When I try I'm mediocre. When I don't try I'm mediocre. Why should I try then? I'm sick of being mediocre.
Plus, I can't get my skin to clear up to save my life.