30 November 2008


Will I go? 

Who knows. 

Things are not working out smoothly. I honestly don't have the money. A few months ago before the market dropped, definitely. I had more than enough. I had enough for this to be comfortable. But now, going means draining everything. 

Is it worth it?

I've wanted to go since always it seems. The timing seems perfect with school and friends and boys (since there are none). I want to go so badly. I don't have anything here for me next semester since I've already deferred. I guess I'll just work. 

Where will I live?

I don't have a place in London right now. That is the problem. 

I don't have a place in Provo; its a lesser problem.

I will not go back home. That would be awful. 

I am not getting clear messages about going. It has seemed to work out well. It feels right, but there are all these snags. Time is running out very very quickly for this to work. The courses start in 5 weeks. At least I haven't paid the money yet, or purchased plane flights. 

I feel like this should be right. I haven't been told no. I want Heavenly Father's will to be done. But I also want to go. I'm trying to listen to what is supposed to happen. I'm not getting any messages. At least I feel like I'm trying. I'm trying to not let my own desire get in the way of my listening.

I feel that it's selfish for me to try to make this work right now, when money is tight. It's selfish and childlike to demand this when it will make things very difficult. I should stop being able to get everything that I want when it puts my mom in financial stress. 

I want to go so badly. Why can't someone house me for cheap-as-free? I can pay a little. Why can't someone feel very generous and help me out? I'll watch their kids for free. I'll clean their house. I'll walk their dogs. 

Please someone, help me. It's my dream to go. I would love to do this before I'm trapped in the 4 semester program, and then have to work, and then be married, and then have kids. I want those things so badly, but I want to be able to go to Le Cordon Bleu and study the pastry chef ways before it will just be too difficult.

25 November 2008

Oh Montana

For Thanksgiving I drove my friend Becky to her family's new home in Montana. It was an 8 hour drive, without cruise control... We stopped in Rexburg to pick up a friend from BYU-I. I had never been to Idaho before... or Montana. It's beautiful up here. No snow, but the mornings are crisp and sparkly. Since I've been here I've started an epidemic. Everyone wanted me to teach them how to knit! So we've purchased about 6 pairs of knitting needles and 10 skeins of yarn. Everyone is making scarves... I love it though. I love knitting, and I love that it's making a comeback! Look at the really awesome scarf that I'm knitting! It's in a traditional Norwegian style pattern. I thought it would be much more difficult than it ended up being. It looks way more impressive than it is. 

I'm grateful to spend Thanksgiving with such a great family if I can't spend it with my own family. There are 7 teenage girls, an 11 year old boy, and a darling 3 year old who can yell much louder than you would think. I love being surrounded by so many people for Thanksgiving. 

I absolutely adore the Holiday season. Cooking delicious foods while listening to Charlie Brown Music -the ultimate Holiday music. Singing Christmas carols while we set the table. Being surrounded by dozens of people who are just happy to be together. Poor Becky had to get her wisdom teeth out last night. 

20 November 2008

Down the Rabbit Hole

A few of my roommates and I took fabulous pictures yesterday. Check them out on their blogs!

19 November 2008

Living Situation

I'm freaking out a little bit. 

I don't have a place to live in London. 

Things aren't working out easily, and well, I'm terrified.

Someone told me not to hold my breath, and that it will be really hard to find a place to live there, at least with a member family.

I need help. And Probably a lot more faith.

HELP! I need a place to live in London for 3 months! What will I do?!

Also, I have no food. And even less money. Like 75 cents to my name. I'm hungry, and broke. And tired of a lot of things. I can't wait to go to London, but how can I, if I can't find a place to stay?

07 November 2008

A New Holiday Tradition

I think I must currently be inspired by my recent acceptance to my dream cooking school, because yesterday I created something truly inspired. Pardon my immodesty. 

It began with the leftover pumpkin. 

I initially thought to make pumpkin puree to make my favorite pumpkin muffins. Then I thought to make pumpkin banana bread. And that is just what I did. With that I candied the pumpkin seeds in a sauce pan and made a brown cinnamon syrup to pour over the top. The result was fantastic. I had quite a bit of pumpkin puree so the bread was more of a bread pudding consistency, but with the syrup and pumpkin seeds it was a sight to behold. The whole apartment smelled like Christmas, and it made me so happy. Plus, it was delicious. 

I've thought to include the recipe if any of my very limited blog followers feel so inclined as to make it themselves. The recipe will require a bit of eyeballing since I invented it without proper measuring. 

Pumpkin Bread Pudding

perhaps about 4 c or more of pumpkin puree, maybe around 2 cans
1 c sugar (more if you would like it sweeter, I used the syrup as the sweetener)
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
approximately 2 cups of flour. Eye ball for the consistency you desire. Mine was of a muffin batter-type consistency.
2 Tbs pumpkin pie spice
1-2 Tbs molasses

Mix all ingredients together and bake at 400 for 35 - 40 minutes. The knife will come out mostly clean. It will be a little gooey on the inside, but the whole cake should retain its shape and integrity when touched.

Brown Cinnamon Syrup

1 c Brown Sugar
3/4 c Water
1 Tbs molasses
2 - 3 tsp cinnamon

Mix all ingredients in a sauce pan and slowly reduce to syrup consistency of choice.

Candied Pumpkin Seeds

Butter a sauce pan and add desired amount of pumpkin seeds. For two or three good handfuls add 1 c brown sugar
  2 tsp cinnamon
  1 tsp molasses

Stir and reduce the sugars until the pumpkin seeds are very sticky. Lower heat and continue to stir until seeds pull away from the pan and are no longer sticky. Let cool. Delicious. 

Bon Apetit! 

05 November 2008

Le Cordon Bleu

I just got my acceptance letter and I'm going to London, England in January for cooking school. I'll come back home just after my birthday. I'm so excited. I'm crying. It's snowing. BEST DAY EVER!


03 November 2008

Pumpkin Pie

I took this beautiful pumpkin...

 And chopped it up like this...

And turned it in to this...

Yeah, I made a pumpkin pie, from a REAL pumpkin. A REAL pumpkin. And it was the most delicious pumpkin pie any one of us had ever eaten!

 Cooking is my calling. It's in my blood. I don't know where it came from but it flows through my veins. 

01 November 2008

This is Halloween

Last night was Halloween. Probably my favorite Holiday just because I love the way the world looks during October and on Halloween you can dress as whatever you want, and everyone does. The Post Man was Tigger today. 

A few nights ago we went to the French Club Halloween fete and we received pumpkins. That night we watched Halloweentown and The Sixth Sense as we carved them up. It was so wonderfully Halloween.

It was the most beautiful Halloween day. It was marred only by the bureaucrats at the Post Office who make getting my Passport renewed a pain in the butt. Once that was all done though, Halloween night began. 
Our apartment was abuzz with people getting all ready for the night. I was a geisha, Lauren was a hobbit -more specifically, Frodo, Becky was Peter Pan, Hilary was Jackie O, 
 Paige was a cowgirl. We all looked fabulous, and I FINALLY had a reason to wear my Kimono.  Our dates were: Patrick as an RM (he carried around a wedding ring, he wore church shoes with regular clothes, and a tie from his "mission") It was brilliant really. Michael Hoops was John Stockton, Macord was a pirate, and Johnny was a Post Man or something -he really didn't even have a costume. 
Once everyone had all congregated, we all went to see The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-D. It's one of my favorite Halloween movies and seeing it on Halloween night has special significance for me.

After the movie we had to wait around more for other people to show up and then we went to Lauren's Aunt and Uncle's house for homemade
 donuts and good company. There was danci
ng and such, but none of us were really that interested at the time.  
Lauren's little cousin Cyrus was dressed as Samwise Gamgee. 
Lauren's brother Ryan was Jeff Goldblum.
We were there for a bit and then everyone wanted to go to a dance party with Ryan. Patrick and I decided against it and I took him back to his car and said a final goodbye. He leaves for Romania on Wednesday. So sad. 

I washed all the black spray out of my hair and it turned the bath water quite dark. 
Then I enjoyed a few hours in silence before eagerly climbing into bed. I heard people come in around 2 or 230. I dreamt well. It was a very good Halloween, except one thing. I didn't get any candy... How odd.

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