It gives me sad feelings

I hurt someone's feelings today. I didn't want to, but I also didn't want to be with him. I'm very sorry. He doesn't even want to be my friend anymore. I did the right thing, because it would have been unfair to be with him if I didn't want to be. But it hurts me a lot. The worst part is, this is the second time I've done this to him. He wont forgive me. But I'm still very sorry.

My Baby Twin

This is what my future baby will look like. Her name is Rose. I am in love. I want to steal her.

Being with Family

Whether it's your own, or in my case someone else's, you are never hungry. I haven't gotten actually hungry before the next meal was served in the last 4 days. There is so much good food to eat. We just went out to lunch and when we came home there was AMAZING smelling soup. So I'll probably have to have another bowl. I feel like the poor starving orphan kid, adopted into this home and I just can't stop eating. Everything is so wonderful, it's like I've never eaten food before.

By the way. Becky, I miss you.

Roommates, I miss you.

Real Family (+pets), I miss you.

Friends abroad, I really really miss you, because I never get to see you.

Thanksgiving

Crazy bundles of fun. Scattered footsteps, giggles, tickles, kisses.

Plus lots of food. Much to be grateful for. Happy Thanksgiving.

I made it

Here I am in Chicago. Chinese food, telephone calls, and Into the Wild. Lots of people dressed pretty cool. Too bad I feel like too much of a creeper to take photos of people when I think they look cool. Do you think the Sartorialist would mind if I took over that job?
Here I am, 1am Eastern Time. In a hotel in Atlanta. We decided to move Thanksgiving down 3 hours south. I'm exhausted from traveling all day. But the feasting has already begun. Oh I love Thanksgiving. I feel blessed to be able to spend it with one of my favorite people in the world, and her super funny family. I really look crazy in this photo. Now, Hilary, her sister Claire, and myself will be sharing a full sized bed for the night. Sweet dreams, happy eating. Count your blessings. I love you all, Marta.

It begins

In the airport. I only just barely made it to the terminal before they started loading. AND I had left my ticket down at the gate, luckily a very nice man who calls himself "My Hero" brought it up to me. I feel foolish. I stayed with the Obergs last night. That was super fun. I havent seen them in ages. I really enjoyed catching up with them. They fed me too, which is always nice -and it wasn't sugar- what I usually live off. I slept well, woke up at 530. Brad picked me up at 6ish, and we made it to the airport at 6.20. Now I'm boarding. Next stop: Chicago.

Yesterday took a strange turn when I told Gloria that I got a new job and she fired me on the spot. I feel bad about it. Why? I hated that job. She was not a good employer. I couldn't give her a full two weeks notice, and for that I feel bad. But honestly, she could have used me for the next few days, right? Instead she just yelled at me and threatened me... just like old times.

A Very Good Day

November 20th, a very good day. Let me list the ways:

I got a new cute sweater from JCrew yesterday that I was able to wear today (cashmere? yes!)

It was warm enough to have the A/C on in the car. Reminds me of home.

I skipped History and had a much better time sitting in the sun chatting with a friend.

Lauren and I went to In-N-Out. Yes, In-N-Out, here in Provo UTAH! And it was just as good as I remembered. Sitting in the van, eating a burger with a pink lemonade with the A/C on. Too good.

Oh, and I was hired to be the assistant baker and counter help for a new bakery called The Chocolate! No more Glorias! No more coming home crying from being yelled at. No more unreasonable requests and bouncing paychecks. I am so happy I'm giddy. I'll finally be using my skills and maybe living up to potential. A few days ago Gloria had me put slices of cheese between pieces of tissue paper -yeah she definitely knew how to use me to my full potential. bah.

Tonight I quit Gloria's. Most of my homework is done, and in 5 days I'll be in Tennessee with a much missed friend.

I started rereading Hatchet. Reminded me of being a kid and my mom reading it aloud to me and Jared.

Very good day. :)

Living for next Wednesday

I feel stretched to my absolute limit for homework. I've had so much required of me this semester that I'm very ready to just quit. I don't sleep well, I'm always preoccupied with some other assignment or test or project or presentation or paper. Let me tell you about papers. I've written nearly 20 of them this semester. I'm so sick of writing papers. Right now I am working on a Geography research paper -talk about boring. Then I have another small assignment for Anthropology due on Friday, and a HUGE Anthropology paper due on Monday (Previously Friday, so I'm nearly done, but it will still require a lot of effort from me.) Stressed out. Completely pushed and pulled and stretched to my mental and physical capacity. I need Thanksgiving break like I've never needed anything else before in my life. Tennessee you will be a long awaited and well deserved reprieve.

The One Problem with JCrew

They're blasted sale items go so quickly! I never even got a chance.

Dear Family, Friends, and Really Nice People,

I'm following Leslie's example and laying out a nice little Christmas Wishlisht...

I lost one of my pearl earings, and they were my favorite. I love these ones from Jcrew.

This shirt was too cute to not add to the lisht. Also at Jcrew.



Practical and timeless snowboots from LLBean. Definitely need these.
Need I say more? Here at Anthropologie.
I'm in love with Julia Child. From one Le Cordon Bleu student to another. Barnes & Noble.
And finally a mandolin. I've been wishing for this for ages it seems, but I always find things I need more. It would be a great addition to the little instrument collection I've got going.


If you would like to buy me any of these things feel free. Just click on the blue or green words to go directly to the website.

Much appreciated,

Lana

Dear History Paper,

Why are you so mean and difficult? You sucked away so many hours of my life! Hours I can never get back. But this is the last time. I'm done with you. We're through! You're finished. I'm over you. I can move on now to bigger papers. Papers that... who am I kidding, papers that I hate just as much as you! I don't want to think about you ever again.

Sincerely,

Lana

Stress bender

I told Paige that my next post was going to be about the wonderful day I had yesterday. I will post about that at a later date. Right now I'm just STRESSING out. University is very difficult. I feel stretched to my limit, plus I work, not a lot, but I'm still working and it severely cuts up my homework time. Stress, stress, stress. Thats all I feel. And I feel it from every corner. What am I stressed about right now? Well let's see. Tomorrow I present in my European Geography class, not a big deal but I need to wake up early and make 4 dozen Fattigman (Norwegian cookies). Then I need to work on my History paper that I haven't read all the books for, then at 4 I need to go to a test review for my European Geography class. At 6 I work until after 10. Then I get to sleep, lucky me, for in the morning at 7.30 I have to take a General Social Sciences Test for licensure in my program. And I have to take it tomorrow or it will cost me $130. Also it's Paige's birthday on Saturday, and I want to be able to spend time with her, but guess what I have to finish my History paper. (Same one, books still not read...) And then I work again Saturday night. Plus I'll have to read another History book, Anthropology book, study for my European Geography test, oh yes and do a research paper and an anthropology paper! And I have to make more desserts for my class for next wednesday. Plus other odd stupid assignments. When am I supposed to have time to even attend class?! Stress stress stress

Poetic Cowboys

Tonight my classmate Matt and I went to see Cowboy Poetry in Heber City, UT. It was such fun. Luckily he knew some people so we got in for free and got to go backstage after the show. For those of you who dont know, Cowboy Poetry is this convention where cowboys from all over the states congregate and tell stories, jokes, sing songs, and recite poetry that they've written. It was so fun. We had watched a documentary about this in my folklore class so it was so great to go see it in person.

Check out these get-ups:

Great Moustache

I was too embarrassed to ask, but I did end up getting a photo with real cowboys

Pre-show, Matt being weird

Glaring cowfolk from over my shoulder

Auctioneer

I look exactly like my father...

I made a moustached cowboy on my hand

Matt's fake moustache freaks me out

We saw this guy in the documentary. He told great jokes.

Me with the live members of the Woody's Roundup band. Yes, the guys who won the Oscar.

Also, I made Madeleines in the shape of roses today. (And a few loaves of pumpkin bread.)My roommates have indefinitely revoked my baking privileges...

House Photos for You Mom

Jonathan Livingston Seagull

I did not like this book. I read it today and it made me feel funny inside. It is the story of a young seagull who doesn't fit in with his flock. He is less occupied by trying to obtain food and just live, and more occupied with learning as much as he can about flying and testing the limits of his bodily strength. He is rejected by his own people and goes to a sort of "heaven" were he communes with a greater seagull named Chiang. Chiang teaches him that the physical body is no more than the thought and perception that it is there. He learns until his flight in itself is perfected. As a perfected gull he returns to his own flock to teach those who feel they do not fit in with the other gulls and who have more meaningful things to think about. He teaches a young gull Fletcher until this gull becomes perfected and then Jonathan Livingston Seagull leaves Fletcher to take care of the flock and teach those who are in need of teaching. There is a predominant theme of learning things, line upon line, precept upon precept. Starting to see the allusion?

Painting Jonathan as Christ wouldn't bother me if this book wasn't riddled with 1970s ideas about transcendental out of body ideas and the phrase "Hey, man..." I talked to Nicole about this and pondered why this bothered me so much. She concluded that it was the way in which they presented the information. They took the most important story to ever have occurred and twisted it. She says that in so doing they lessened the importance of Christ and his role here on earth. Especially when Fletcher "comes to realize that Jonathan was no more divine than he himself is." The Flock even calls Jonathan "Son of the Great Gull." When Jonathan ascends into heaven he pleads with Fletcher to not let the other gulls think he is a god.

Apparently people in the 70s related to this. Just as everyone will when presented with a little truth. The truth pulls at our Spirits to remember and then things that attempt to diminish Christ, like this, will twist them into something "rational" or "conceivable." When in reality, the Atonement, and Christ's mission on this world is something that is rational and conceivable to our spirits but not necessarily our thoughts as the world has shaped them.

My mom wanted me to share this book with everyone I know. I refuse. She says I'll never look at a seagull the same way again, I submit that it has only served to strengthen my testimony of the truth and diminished my liking for people who attempt to distort the Lord's mission to fit temporal understanding and standards.

Sorry Mom, I absolutely did not like this book.

Two Posts in One Day? It's a real treat. A Real treat.

I've literally been living off of pumpkin. I don't know how much more I can stomach. And we've still got 5 more. I can't throw them away, I haven't money for food, and I would feel so wasteful. I intend to make another pie and more pumpkin bread, but in the mean time, I have all this savory pumpkin puree. It's all I have to eat. And I just found a butternut squash. I've eaten entirely too much squash this season. And yams, oh great...

What culinary concoctions have I made this past week? Well let me tell you.

First, Lasagna. Delicious, wonderful, amazing lasagna. And this isn't your mother's lasagna -unless she's from Tuscany... Apparently only the Sicilians put ricotta cheese in their lasagna. Everyone else uses Bechemel sauce. Imagine that! And it is so good. WAY better than the "traditional" kind. My mom made it as well, and she and John say it's THE Best lasagna they've ever had. All this time, we could have been eating this type of lasagna. Oh those Sicilians. I'm starting to pick up the prejudice my great-great-grandfather had for them. He was on to something.



Then I started making things with pumpkin. We had so many pumpkins that I felt we had to use.
I made pumpkin juice for our Harry Potter Party. Eh, ok.

I made toasted pumpkin seeds. Delicious.

I made pumpkin pasties. Also good. Like mini pumpkin pies.

I made pumpkin yam mashed potatoes. They were good with a side of Old Bay grilled Chicken.



I made a rustic pumpkin tart. I didn't use a pie pan. I rolled out the dough and in the middle I packed the thick pumpkin puree (with one egg, a handful of brown sugar, and respective pumpkin pie spices) and folded the edge of the dough up onto the pumpkin all the way around. I left most of the middle showing and baked until it was cooked through. Topped with whipped cream it was wonderful.



On Sunday I made Pumpkin bread. It was the best bread I've ever had. When I took it out of the oven I topped it with honey and it formed a wonderful honey crust. I sliced it and put some butter between each slice and we had a feast. It was the best.



Then I made baked stuffed pumpkin. I browned some ground beef with onion, ginger, and garlic, added some vegetables and cooked rice. I stuffed this into a pumpkin and baked it until it was soft. It was marvelous.



Today I had left over baked pumpkin. I'm getting real sick of pumpkin now. But I feel like I should eat the food I had. So I took some of my pumpkin puree and added some sharp white cheddar and milk and made cheesy pumpkin soup. It was pretty good. But i am done with pumpkin. I can't take it.... no more. No more.



Oh Halloween?

Olive Oyl, Kiki, and Coraline

For work I was Olive Oyl, because everyone is convinced that I look just like her...
When I got home I changed into my Pokemon Trainer Ash Ketchum costume. Ash never looked so good. I hit up a couple parties with some friends and then my roommates and I watched "Let the Right One in." It was a very creepy Swedish Vampire film.



Yeah that's a ferret. I wanted to pretend it was my Pokemon, but it smelled like pee, so I didn't want it near me.



3 more weeks until I leave for Tennessee for Thanksgiving! Hilary tells me to stretch out my stomach, and I will as long as it's nothing with pumpkin.